The disconnected life, stop living like a zombie

I'm so connected that I'm disconnected. On my walk this morning there were birds singing all around me, but I didn't hear them because I was listening to my "walk" playlist via my cell phone. Everyone I passed had their face glued to a 3.5 or 4.5 in. screen. A helper was taking a 6-7 year old girl to school. The girl was tugging at her hand, trying to get her attention and talk to her, but the helpers face was glued to her cell phone. Walking next to her was one of the wonders of the world, a bundle of energy and curiosity wrapped in a school uniform and decked with black shiny hair and all the helper could see was her phone. No wonder movies and tv shows about Zombies are so popular. We're surrounded by zombies and live like zombies day in and day out, never seeing what is right in front of us.

Why do we live this way? For some us we have disconnected from our families and home cultures to live and work in HK. I want to know what the score of the Seattle Seahawks game was, or check on the weather in my home town. It makes me feel connected to my family and home country. Others want to see the latest FB update from their kids, spouses, siblings or friends. We have good reasons, but in our desparation to stay connected - we disconnect.

Today I want to stay connected, not to my phone or computer, but to the God of the past, present and future. Oddly enough that means I need to live in the NOW. "Today is the day that the Lord has made. I will be glad and rejoice in it." "Today, if you hear his voice, don't be stubborn.." Jesus speaks to us in the present "Come and follow me."

Today, I choose to focus on Jesus and on those he has put in my path. I will listen for his soft whisper and follow his instructions. I will stay connected to Jesus and live in the now. I will live here in HK and when it is time I will connect as fully as possible with my family overseas. Lord, thank you for my sister Margaret and her husband Stephen who are taking care of mom and dad, enabling us to work in HK. Thank you for my older brother, Dr. Stephen who gives them medical care and for the support they get from Barbara, and Warren and Connie. Lord, help them to live and love the moments in time they inhabit, as we do the same - here, living for you in the now, loving those you place in our path in the here and now.  Amen.

Psalm 8: Strength from babies?

 

Go to images.google.com and search for strong babies. I guarantee you will smile, maybe even giggle. It's such a ridiculous idea that it makes us smile. And yet, God, the creator of the universe has chosen babies to confound his enemies. Here is what Psalm 8 says: 

O Lord , our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!

You have set your glory above the heavens.
Out of the mouth of babies and infants, you have established strength because of your foes, to still the enemy and the avenger.
When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that you care for him?
Yet you have made him a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor. You have given him dominion over the works of your hands; you have put all things under his feet, all sheep and oxen, and also the beasts of the field, the birds of the heavens, and the fish of the sea, whatever passes along the paths of the seas.
O Lord , our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!

If I were put in charge of editing the book of Psalms, I would leave out the sentence about babes, foes, enemies and avengers. It seems like it doesn't fit and breaks up the beauty of the Psalm. It is much more majestic without that sentence. Without that sentence God is majestic and man looks pretty good too, just a little lower than the angels and crowned with glory and honor. I like that. So why this odd verse about babies and infants? And who are these foes, enemies, and who is the avenger?

The foes are called "your foes", so the enemies are God's enemies. God has enemies. The creator of the universe, the One who put the stars and moon in place, who scattered the galaxies, this God has enemies, foes. There seems to be one in particular that the Psalmist calls "the Avenger". He sounds like a pretty badass dude. If you have a name like "the Avenger" it seems to shout "Don't mess with me!".

So how does God, the creator deal with his enemies? Does he choose his strongest warrior angel and send him out as a champion to cut down his foes and the Avenger? Does he send a batallion of elite angel warriors, clothed in battle armor, swords clashing? No. He sends out babies and infants. Who are these babies and infants? We are the babies! Mankind is the new kid on the block, the babies of the universe. We've only been around for approximately 340,000 years. The universe is millions of years old. There are beings and powers in the universe, ancient and oh so very powerful. Some of them hate God.

So what does the ALL Powerful God do to defeat his enemies? He chooses the weakest of beings, mankind to show off his strength, to show off his glory. He chooses us.

But God chose what the world considers nonsense to put wise people to shame. God chose what the world considers weak to put what is strong to shame.   God chose what the world considers ordinary and what it despises—what it considers to be nothing—in order to destroy what it considers to be something.   As a result, no one can brag in God’s presence. I Corinthians 1 

Lord, you are so majestic that you can use the weakest beings in the universe to bring down your foes. You don't need to call on the armies of angels, you chose babies, the weak to show off your strength and defeat your enemies. And in an even stranger twist, you yourself became one of these weak human beings and through this incarnation you have reconciled the entire universe to yourself. O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth, in ALL the universe.

Psalm 6: tears, trouble and redemption.

Psalm 6:1-10 ESV

"O Lord , rebuke me not in your anger, nor discipline me in your wrath.  Be gracious to me, O Lord , for I am languishing; heal me, O Lord , for my bones are troubled.  My soul also is greatly troubled."

Father, I remember when this was me. I fully deserved the discipline I endured. The sickness of soul and body - wanting healing without repentance - expecting death despite repentance - amazed that you didn't pour your anger and wrath on me. Grateful but not really surprised. You already poured out your wrath on Jesus, so that you could show grace to me.

"But you, O Lord —how long?  Turn, O Lord , deliver my life; save me for the sake of your steadfast love.  For in death there is no remembrance of you; in Sheol who will give you praise? "

You saved me not for my sake, or my family's sake, but so that you could display your steadfast love and receive the praise due to your name.

"I am weary with my moaning; every night I flood my bed with tears; I drench my couch with my weeping.  My eye wastes away because of grief; it grows weak because of all my foes. " 

At that time tears were my nightly food. So much pain! So much regret! Then finally repentance, confession, forgiveness and restoration. Years of weariness till I finally came to my senses. How much pig food did I eat before thinking "my father's servants have food to eat. Let me return and become a servant."  I didn't expect a robe, a ring or sandals for my feet.  I didn't expect a party. Even now I know that some Christians here will shun me if they learn of my past sins. Who would throw a party for a repentant Christian leader? We are supposed to be above fault. Only you Lord would do such a thing, because to you I am not leader, pastor, missionary but only "child, son".

"Depart from me, all you workers of evil, for the Lord has heard the sound of my weeping.  The Lord has heard my plea; the Lord accepts my prayer.  All my enemies shall be ashamed and greatly troubled; they shall turn back and be put to shame in a moment."

The powers of darkness that struggled for my soul have been put to flight. God has freed me and answered my cry for help. Thank you Lord for wiping away my tears, washing away my sin and giving me a hope and a future.

Psalm 5: groans, enemies and grace

"O  Lord , hear me as I pray; pay attention to my groaning. Listen to my cry for help, my King and my God, for I pray to no one but you. Listen to my voice in the morning,  lord . Each morning I bring my requests to you and wait expectantly. "

It is easy to pray when I am in pain, when the waves look like mountains and my problems surround me like a gang of bullies getting ready to beat me down; or just afterwards when I lack even the strength to stand back up.  When that happens prayers come out as groans. Face down in the dirt, I don't even know what to ask you for Lord. All I can do is groan and hope you listen. At those times I'm not even sure it is me groaning. Perhaps it is the Holy Spirit groaning in me (Romans 8:26). Sometimes my groaning isn't for me, but for a loved one I wish I could help. They need you, but they don't acknowledge their need. They can't see how lost they are, and they don't have the faith to cry out to you. Today my groaning is for them, my King and my God. Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me as I wait expectantly for you. 

"O God, you take no pleasure in wickedness; you cannot tolerate the sins of the wicked. Therefore, the proud may not stand in your presence, for you hate all who do evil. You will destroy those who tell lies. The  lord  detests murderers and deceivers. "

"Some of you were once like that ..." 1 Cor 6:11 I was like that, Lord. I was totally UNqualified to even think of coming into your presence. I was like the man standing far off from the temple, not even daring to go near, beating my breast and praying "Lord be merciful to me, THE sinner." Lord you are holy, perfectly good. There is no shadow in you, so how can I know you? How can I approach you?

"Because of your unfailing love, I can enter your house; I will worship at your Temple with deepest awe. Lead me in the right path, O   lord , or my enemies will conquer me. Make your way plain for me to follow."

Grace - grace is my only hope. "Unfailing love" - because of your grace demonstrated in Jesus my Lord, I can enter your house. I can worship in your temple with awe.  Because Jesus died for me, I have the right to enter your presence. That's awesome, Lord!

"Lead me in the right path. Make your way plain for me to follow." I'm not the brightest lightbulb in the pack, Father. I can be easily misled and deceived. I need you to lead me, to make your path easy to find and follow. Show me the way Lord. I will follow you.

 "My enemies cannot speak a truthful word. Their deepest desire is to destroy others. Their talk is foul, like the stench from an open grave. Their tongues are filled with flattery. O God, declare them guilty. Let them be caught in their own traps. Drive them away because of their many sins, for they have rebelled against you."

 Lord, I don't have a lot of enemies. When I read the Psalms I have a hard time understanding all the talk of enemies. I know David had a lot of enemies, but my enemies are within. I know their names: lust, envy, self-hate, fear. They also tell me lies, deceive me and seek to destroy me and those around me. I long for the day when you have banished them forever and all that is left is the new man, the new creation. 

"But let all who take refuge in you rejoice; let them sing joyful praises forever. Spread your protection over them, that all who love your name may be filled with joy. For you bless the godly, O   lord ; you surround them with your shield of love."  

This is a good conclusion to a prayer that begins with groaning. Lord, may my loved ones take refuge in you. Give them the gift of faith. Help them to run to you for help and safety. Spread your protection over them. Lord you know their names. I can't write them down here, but they are written on my heart and on your heart. Fill them with the joy of the forgiven, the joy of the children of God. May they join the rank of the family of God, those who wear white because they are washed clean by the death of Jesus. Surround them with love. Love as a shield - what an odd thought, what a powerful shield. What can penetrate the love of God surrounding me, surrounding us? What can separate us from that love? (Romans 8:31ff.) I run to you, Lord. 

Psalm 4: Tremble but don't sin

I want to learn to pray, so I'm reading the Psalms and praying through them. This is what I read in Psalm 4 this morning.

"Answer me when I call, O God of my righteousness. You have freed me from my troubles. Have pity on me, and hear my prayer!  You important people, how long are you going to insult my honor? How long are you going to love what is empty and seek what is a lie?  Selah  Know that the L ord  singles out godly people for himself. The L ord  hears me when I call to him.  Tremble and do not sin. Think about this on your bed and remain quiet.  Selah  Offer the sacrifices of righteousness by trusting the Lord .  Many are saying, “Who can show us anything good?” Let the light of your presence shine on us, O L ord .  You put more joy in my heart than when their grain and new wine increase.  I fall asleep in peace the moment I lie down because you alone, O L ord , enable me to live securely." Psalm 4

Lord, you are my righteousness. I have no righteousness of my own, only what you have given me in Christ Jesus. You have freed me from my troubles, yet I still desperately need you to show me mercy and hear my prayers. Unlike David, I don't have any important people insulting or attacking me. Thank you for that. And you know that I don't feel like I have a lot of "honor" to be insulted. If someone were to insult and attack me, I would probably deserve it. It is sad that so many of the world's important people are chasing that which is empty (fame, fortune, gratification of their urges). They have believed a lie. Lord, please wake them up to your reality.

Lord, you single out the godly for yourself. That sounds like the NT phrase "set apart" that is the root of the word "holy". The struggle I have is with the word "godly" because if I heard someone say "you who are godly please stand up", I would stay seated. I am not godly... or am I? I know that you chose me to be "holy and righteous before you" (Eph 1), so there must be some sense in which I am godly (god-like). When I look at myself I see all the ways I am not like Jesus, but hopefully there are some parts of my character that are Christlike, godly. Because I am your child, your "saint" you hear me when I call. I should call out to you more often.

"Tremble and do not sin." Thank you for this reminder Lord. When I feel stressed and worried that is when I fall into old patterns and sin. There are "triggers" that tempt me to sin. High stress and uncertainty is one of them. I need to learn better how to handle these negative emotions without falling into old patterns of sin. Instead of sinning I need to meditate and be quiet. Nighttime is a good time to do a little introspection. Negative emotions can also trigger me to call on you, to examine my heart, to allow you to "search me and know me and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."

Through trust in you I can offer you a good and acceptable sacrifice. Today Lord I offer my body as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to you. So many are pessimistic. When I watch the news I feel like carrying a sign "Repent, the end is near." What I need is to experience your presence - may the light of your presence shine on me today. May it shine on our office, our workers, customers and the ladies we serve. Lord, you give me a joy that is beyond anything material goods can give, beyond any accolades that worldly accomplishments can offer. I fall asleep at night in peace knowing that you are my security. Wow! You give me your presence, your joy, your peace, your security and your righteousness. All of these are mine through my Lord Jesus. Thank you Father. Today I want to experience your presence. Thank you! Amen

Teamwork: Dealing with Conflict (Part 2)

"If you're not fighting, you're not trying hard enough."

I have met couples who claim to have never had a fight. Usually the woman is gushing about how wonderful her man is, as he stands silent nearby. I've known the woman for less than 1 minute and already she is driving me crazy, and I wonder "How does he stand this?" I don't believe it. The lack of conflict doesn't represent true happiness (the present of constant conflict doesn't either).  The truth is: Every couple, every team has conflict. Handling conflict well is a skill that we all should learn. There are times when even mature Christians need help resolving conflicts. Godly skillful marriage counsellors have been a great blessing to my wife and I. They helped us deal with hurts and issues that we didn't know how to handle. 

When I read Paul's letter to the Christians at Philippi I was surprised that he mentioned an interpersonal conflict between 2 church members. Can you imagine Pastor Jorge writing a letter to Jubilee Church, a letter that will be read out loud to the whole congregration, and near the end of the letter, the person who is reading the letter stops. Their face turns red, they clear their throat several times, then continue "Please tell Shirley and Ailyn to stop fighting." What would you think? Yet that is what Paul does. Here is what he said:

"So then, my brothers and sisters, dear friends whom I long to see, my joy and crown, stand in the Lord in this way, my dear friends! I appeal to Euodia and to Syntyche to agree in the Lord. Yes, I say also to you, true companion, help them. They have struggled together in the gospel ministry along with me and Clement and my other coworkers, whose names are in the book of life. Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I say, rejoice! Let everyone see your gentleness. The Lord is near! Do not be anxious about anything. Instead, in every situation, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, tell your requests to God. And the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is worthy of respect, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if something is excellent or praiseworthy, think about these things. And what you learned and received and heard and saw in me, do these things. And the God of peace will be with you." Philippians 4:1-9

I'm not sure I would have wanted Paul for my marriage counselor, but his letter to Philippi gives some valuable advice on helping people resolve conflicts. Notice how he handles things:

1. He AFFIRMS the VALUE of those involved in conflict calling them "my joy and crown", "dear friends", "coworkers, whose names are in the book of life." Paul reminds them of their true identity as children of God and of their destiny - eternal life in the kingdom of God.
   
   Conflicts often arise because one party or the other feels "slighted" or "de-valued". It is almost always unintentional, but is often the root of many conflicts. If you're called to be a mediator, it might be good to start by affirming both parties.
2. He brings in a MEDIATOR. Paul recruits a 3rd party to counsel and help these two sisters. When we get stuck, we need someone to help us get unstuck. Assuming that these ladies would like to experience healing in their relationship, a 3rd party can help. BTW, I would be willing to bet that they were, at one time, best friends.
3. He REMINDS them of their GOOD PAST. They had a history and much of it was good. At one time in the past they had beautiful teamwork and along with Paul helped start the church at Philippi. Remember the good times. Remember that vacation when we drove our little car hundreds of miles into the wilderness looking for hot springs. We drove down roads that were closed for the winter and when we finally  arrived we found the hot springs were closed for the winter too. To stay warm we huddled under thin blankets together and drove back the next morning, joyful and laughing at how crazy we were. The car was covered in mud from tire to top, we were exhausted, yet happy. Remember those times... Good memories help bring healing.
4. He ROOTS them in JESUS. "Rejoice in the LORD." It's a command, not a suggestion. My life is to be so rooted in Christ, that whatever slight I think life has thrown my way, it doesn't matter. I rejoice in the Lord. "The Lord is near!" - Many take this as a reference to the 2nd coming of Christ, but it can just as easily mean "the Lord is here. He is with you. He will supply all you needs and give you grace and help. Call on him!" When I have a conflict with another person, I am not helpless, I am not a victim. I have the resources of my heavenly Father to help me. When I no longer have love or patience to deal with a difficult person or situation, God will supply me with the love and patience I need. 
   
   
   
5. He tells them to PRAY. When I'm angry at someone, I DO NOT want to pray. I want to stay angry, so I want to stay away from God. I don't want to talk to them, and I don't want to talk to God. I know if I talk to God, that if I listen to God then He will tell me to talk to them. So I hide. Paul challenges them to pray. If you begin talking to God about the conflict, then God will show you what to do. If you obey you will experience personal peace in your soul, and interpersonal peace in your relationship. It might take time for the other party to forgive you and reconcile with you, but you will be at peace.
6. Finally he tells them to FOCUS on the POSITIVE.
   

   whatever is true, whatever is worthy of respect, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if something is excellent or praiseworthy, think about these things.

   When someone makes us angry we focus solely on their weaknesses and overlook all their good points. "My employer called me "stupid" when I ruined her favorite dress, so i want to resign." "Oh, okay. Does she make you work on your days off? "Oh no, I get every holiday off with pay and every Sunday too." Oh, okay. Does she cheat you on your pay? "Oh no, she pays more than the minimum and at Chinese New Year they gave me a big bonus." Oh, okay. Is she usually unkind? "Oh no. She has given me clothes and presents for my kids. She let me go home for my daughter's graduation." So you still want to resign? "Well she called me 'stupid' and I can't stand that."
   
   The person you are angry with is probably has some good points also. Instead of focusing on their flaws and weaknesses, why not focus on their strengths? Focusing on their strengths instead of their flaws and your heart attitudes toward them will begin to change. You will begin seeing their value and God given uniqueness.  

Conflict is messy. It brings out the worst in us and in the ones we love. It can also help us deal with our sins and weakness and grow stronger as Christians. Strong teams know how to fight well. It's a skill we all we need to learn. 

Teamwork: Can we resolve the issues and do we just vote you off the island?

My wife and I enjoy watching "Survivor". We wait eagerly for the next episode so we can see who will survive and who will be voted off the island. One of the key skills needed to survive in Survivor is the ability to work with others. The team challenges are designed to bring out the best and worst in people, emotions and character rise to the surface in the middle of these difficult challenges. Teamwork involves conflict. There is no teamwork without conflict. When I look up "teamwork" on google images I see pictures like this:

"Yeah right!" Everyone is smiling and happy, right? WRONG! If you're the one on the bottom, you won't be smiling.. Every team I have ever been a part of has had conflict. If your team has never had conflict then you probably don't have a winning team.

In his letter to the Christians at Philippi Paul mentions two women who are fighting with each other. They are probably in the "cold war" stage where they avoid each other and just gossip about the other. Maybe they have just dropped out, because they don't know what to do. They need help to resolve the issue. Have you ever been in a situation like this? I have. I've gotten myself so stuck in sin or interpersonal conflict that I can't possibly get out of it by myself. I need help. Paul realises that these 2 dear sisters are in this situation so he asks someone to help them. Here is what he says:

"So then, my brothers and sisters, dear friends whom I long to see, my joy and crown, stand in the Lord in this way, my dear friends! I appeal to Euodia and to Syntyche to agree in the Lord. Yes, I say also to you, true companion, help them. They have struggled together in the gospel ministry along with me and Clement and my other coworkers, whose names are in the book of life. Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I say, rejoice! Let everyone see your gentleness. The Lord is near! Do not be anxious about anything. Instead, in every situation, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, tell your requests to God. And the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is worthy of respect, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if something is excellent or praiseworthy, think about these things. And what you learned and received and heard and saw in me, do these things. And the God of peace will be with you." Philippians 4:1-9

For the next post or two, I'm going to explore Philippians 4:1-9 looking at it through the lens of working together. What can this passage teach me about teamwork? How can I help others who are in conflict with each other? Should I just be like Switzerland and stay neutral, let them nuke each other? If they are part of my team, do I let the team dissolve into conflict, members dropping out one by one til I have a team of 3 people only "ME, MYSELF and I"? What can I do to keep my team strong? If a member has fallen out of the team, what should I do to win them back?  Stay tuned.