Single mothers are not "alone mothers"

I know lots of single mothers. I'm beginning to think that the name "single mother" is a misnomer.  Sure single mom's don't have the father around to help, but they are not "alone moms". They usually have parents, and often even support from the "in-laws" of the MIA outlaw dad.  My daughter was a "single mother".  We walked with her through the pregnancy and birth of our grandson, and for the first 10 years of his life we lived together. My daughter is incredibly courageous and a great mom, but she didn't have to do it all by herself.

I'm thinking about single moms because I've been reading the Christmas story. Today I read some more about Mary's reaction to the news that she was going to have a baby. When I first read this story I was wearing my personal and cultural glasses: I filtered the story through my own experience. That's a dangerous thing to do. I assumed that Mary was a frightened teenage mother, who runs to her auntie Elizabeth because she has nowhere else to go. The angel told her that tidbit of gossip about Elizabeth being pregnant. (Sorry Gabriel, okay its not gossip. When you're 6 months along, everyone knows. Except Mary). It's wonderful that God gave her one person who would understand her situation and be there for her if needed. Why did Mary go to see Elizabeth? Was she frightened, excited, worried, wondering how to tell Joseph her fiance? Probably all of the above.

"Why?" questions are somewhat dangerous when studying the Bible because often the motives & purposes are not explicitly stated. If they are then great. "For God so loved the world" is pretty clear about his motive for giving his son, but often scripture doesn't tell us why people or God do what they do. If the scripture doesn't say clearly, then it's best to not ascribe motives. The truth is: we don't always know.

I assumed that Mary went to see Elizabeth because she is frightened, upset and worried about being pregnant in a culture where being a single mom would have meant a death sentence if the Romans overlords had allowed it. I want to read Mary's story through the filter of my modern life story, but that is a mistake. We need to read the story with fresh eyes, laying aside our cultural and personal biases. Let it say what it says. Being aware of your personal "filters" and laying them aside will help you hear God's voice when you read scripture. Part of Rest in Bible Study is to become aware of yourself and your own biases and emotional landscape.

Read & Reflect

"A few days later Mary hurried to the hill country of Judea, to the town where Zechariah lived. She entered the house and greeted Elizabeth. At the sound of Mary’s greeting, Elizabeth’s child leaped within her, and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit. Elizabeth gave a glad cry and exclaimed to Mary, “God has blessed you above all women, and your child is blessed. Why am I so honored, that the mother of my Lord should visit me? When I heard your greeting, the baby in my womb jumped for joy. You are blessed because you believed that the Lord would do what he said.” Mary responded, “Oh, how my soul praises the Lord."  Luke 1.39-46

Nothing is this passage or the following song of praise indicates that Mary was frightened or worried. On the contrary, she seems excited and joyful about being chosen by God to give birth to the Savior. There is not a hint of fear or worry in this story. I want to put them there because of my family's experience, but that would putting something into the story that is not there.

If Mary was looking for reassurance from Elizabeth, then she was not disappointed. 3 times she uses the word "blessed", says she is "honored" to have Mary, the mother of her Lord, there in her home. Whatever doubts Mary may have had, Elizabeth's reaction would have reassured her greatly.

Respond

Lord, thank you that you gave Mary someone to talk to about her pregnancy and the extraordinary things you were doing in her life. Thank you that you've provided people to help and support single moms and their kids. Please help the many Arrow ladies who are single moms. Thank you for the family members who are helping care for their children while they provide for the family. Encourage and help them today. Protect the children and help them to know that they are loved and treasured. It's comforting to know that even the Virgin Mary needed someone to talk to. You're so gracious to provide us with friends and family who can help us when we don't know what to do or where to turn.  Amen

Christmas 1: Practicing 4Rs: meet the first evangelists

Yesterday, we had our first class on how to read the Bible. Most of those attending struggle with Bible reading. We live in a day when people don't read in depth, instead we skim read. Our fingers flick through facebook posts, looking the next interesting cat video to watch. We rarely read slowly. The Bible is meant to be read slowly. It is like an expensive chocolate. Rochere chocolates are a favorite in Hong Kong. Grocery stores have stacks of them and during Chinese New Year thousands and thousands of them are purchased to be given away as gifts. Hong Kong people know how to eat a good chocolate. They peel back the golden aluminum wrapper carefully and slowly nibble on the chocolate. They can make one piece of chocolate last for 1/2 hour. I'm American. I unwrap the chocolate, pop the whole thing in my mouth and reach for another one before I've even finished the first. I've got it wrong. You don't treat a good chocolate that way. You shouldn't read the Bible that way either. 

Most of those who attended the class on how to read the Bible use the Daily Bread as their devotional guide, so I thought I would follow the Daily Bread's Advent reading plan. You can find it on bible.com. It has 10 days of reading to help you get prepared for Christmas. I'll probably stretch it into 20 days. If you use Bible.com Bible app on your cell phone it has a useful "catch me up" feature for when you fall behind. It will move the readings forward giving you a fresh start.

Before you read, REST. Quiet your heart before God. Listen to a Christmas carol if that will help you settle your heart and prepare to hear from God.

"Lord, help me discover anew the Christ of Christmas. I want to remember and experience again the wonder of Immanuel, God in the midst of us. Here I am. I'm listening." 

READ: Here is the reading for Day 1, part A: Luke 2.8-14

That night there were shepherds staying in the fields nearby, guarding their flocks of sheep. Suddenly, an angel of the Lord appeared among them, and the radiance of the Lord’s glory surrounded them. They were terrified, but the angel reassured them. “Don’t be afraid!” he said. “I bring you good news that will bring great joy to all people. The Savior—yes, the Messiah, the Lord—has been born today in Bethlehem, the city of David! And you will recognize him by this sign: You will find a baby wrapped snugly in strips of cloth, lying in a manger.” Suddenly, the angel was joined by a vast host of others—the armies of heaven—praising God and saying, “Glory to God in highest heaven, and peace on earth to those with whom God is pleased.” 

Reading this takes less than 30 secs, so you can read and re-read it and still have time to savor the richness.

Here are some questions to get you started:

• What were the shepherds doing? Imagine the scene. Are they awake? sleeping? 
• How does the angel show up? 
• How did they react?
• What do you think the angel looked like?
• What does he say to them?
• When do the other angels show up? What do they do? How are they described?
• How do armies sound?
• What is the announcement?
• What words does the angel use to describe Jesus?
• Where & how can the shepherds find him? 
• What is the message "shouted" out by the army of angel warriors?

One of practices we learned was to "Read around". The Daily Bread doesn't include the end of the story. Here it is:

When the angels had returned to heaven, the shepherds said to each other, “Let’s go to Bethlehem! Let’s see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.” They hurried to the village and found Mary and Joseph. And there was the baby, lying in the manger.  After seeing him, the shepherds told everyone what had happened and what the angel had said to them about this child.  All who heard the shepherds’ story were astonished,  but Mary kept all these things in her heart and thought about them often.  The shepherds went back to their flocks, glorifying and praising God for all they had heard and seen. It was just as the angel had told them.

Reflect:

• If the the shepherds were terrified by the appearance of 1 angel, how do you think they reacted to the appearance of an army of angels?
• After recovering from their "shock" what did the Shepherds do? List their actions. 
• What was their manner or attitude as they did the things they did? 
• What do the shepherds actions reveal about their heart attitudes?
• How did Mary, Jesus' mother respond to the story of the Shepherds?
• Think about the titles and words used to describe this newborn baby. Who is he? What does "Savior" mean? "Messiah"? 
• What purposes did the angel army say God was achieving? When you read the end of the story, do you think that these goals, glory to God, & peace to men were achieved in the lives of the shepherds?

Respond: 

• Who is this baby to you? Still a baby in a manger? Savior? Ruler (Messiah)? Lord?
• When the Shepherds heard about Jesus what did they experience? What did they do? How has meeting Jesus effected you? How will it effect your work and attitude today?
• Write a prayer. Below is mine.

"Lord, you are so amazing. A baby born in a cattle shed is Savior, Messiah, Lord of all. Wrapped in scraps of cloth and put in a feeding trough to keep him warm - could you find a more humble way to enter our world? I don't think so. Who would suspect that this child would be King of Kings and Lord of Lords? The army of angels that appeared to the Shepherds were his to command. Lord, this is crazy and wonderful. You are amazing. No wonder the shepherds went away glorify and praising God for all they had experienced. These first evangelists preached a message of praise to you. It flowed out of the joy and wonder they had experienced. Lord, I want to be like them - to share the story of Jesus from a heart of praise and wonder. I know some people will be "astonished" - doesn't say if they believed or not, but at least they heard the good news that brings great joy to all peoples. I want to be part of that. Praise God!

Affection of Christ

"For God is my witness, how I yearn for you all with the affection of Christ." Paul the apostle to the Christians at Philippi.

I am a physically affectionate person. I like to touch and be touched. I'm not so good at other kinds of affection, like verbal affection. It is hard for me to share how I feel with others.

As I was walking and listening to the Bible this morning I was struck by Paul's expression of affection. He uses the word "yearn" which means to "long for", "strongly desire". It is like the love sick couple who have been separated by circumstances outside their control. All they can do is express their longing for each other.

I guess what impresses me about this is that Christ feels affection toward me. He longs for me; he wants to spend time with me. In spite of my sin, my failings, my sometimes very cold heart, he feels affection toward me.

I like to lead with my mind. I love intellectual arguments and the dicing of doctrine. Paul had more degrees and was way smarter than I am. He led with affection, with heart. He personally experienced the love of Christ, and he loved others with Christ's love. Christ's heart touched and controlled Paul's heart. Later on in the letter he says "let this mind be in you which was in Christ Jesus" but he doesn't lead off with that. He leads off with affection.

If I want to have maximum impact on the lives of others I need to care for them with the affection of Jesus. I need to experience that love from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet and I need to love others with the love of Christ.  Lead with heart not head.

Lord Jesus, today I want to experience the same love that you and the Father share with each other. I want your holy Spirit to fill me with that love, and it is my prayer that it would overflow to my family, my team of co-workers and to everyone I come in contact with today. Amen

What's in a "hello"?

How do you greet people? I struggle with this. When I write an email to a customer, do I use their surname and "Dear" or address them by the first name with "Hi". What is the right balance between respect and friendliness?

Paul greets the people in the church at Galatia with a prayer.

"I pray that God the Father and our Lord Jesus Christ will be kind to you and will bless you with peace!  Christ obeyed God our Father and gave himself as a sacrifice for our sins to rescue us from this evil world.  God will be given glory forever and ever. Amen." Ga. 1:3-5

 Imagine that - "Dear Michael, I'm praying that God ..." It's kinda cool. Who doesn't want to be prayed for or blessed? Who wouldn't want God to be kind to them and bless them with peace?

The tough part of Paul's greeting and prayer is his specificity (the spell checker didn't highlight it, so it must be a real word, yeah!) He prays that God the Father and our Lord Jesus Christ will be kind to them. He goes further and makes sure that they know which Jesus He is talking about - the one who obeyed God our Father and gave himself as a sacrifice for our sins to rescue us from this evil world - that Jesus. Paul was specific because the Galatians were struggling with some fuzzy thinking about who Jesus was. Some false teachers had confused them, so he starts out in his prayer - by being very clear as to who Jesus is.

Does this mean that a generic prayer is wrong? Am I compromising the gospel if I pray for someone and don't mention the cross and salvation? Is is okay just to pray for people and ask God and Jesus to be kind to them and give them peace?

Of course it is. No one wants to be force fed the gospel, especially when you haven't established a relationship or credibility, but praying for people are asking if you can pray for people is a very nice and appropriate way to show Christian love. Of course, you need to follow through and really pray for them.

How do you say "hello"? Even if you don't vocalize it, when you meet someone why not whisper a prayer to God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ asking "God, Please be kind to _________ and give them peace." It might change the way you relate to people.

God and the giver

Giving is a tough subject to talk about. There is a lot of guilt associated with the the subject of giving. I wonder if I'm giving enough.. Am I being selfish? There are so many people with desperate needs - shouldn't we, shouldn't I do more? When we talk about giving and generosity the discussion quickly becomes all about us (the donors) OR all about them (the needy). Even in church, we can easily leave God out of the equation. As I was reading 2Cor 9, I noticed that God was mentioned. I need to go back and re-read chapters 8-9 and make a more comprehensive list of what it says about God, but here are two things to whet your whistle.

Remember this saying, “A few seeds make a small harvest, but a lot of seeds make a big harvest.” Each of you must make up your own mind about how much to give. But don't feel sorry that you must give and don't feel you are forced to give. God loves people who love to give. God can bless you with everything you need, and you will always have more than enough to do all kinds of good things for others. The Scriptures say, “God freely gives his gifts to the poor, and always does right.” God gives seed to farmers and provides everyone with food. He will increase what you have, so you can give even more to those in need. You will be blessed in every way, and you will be able to keep on being generous. Then many people will thank God when we deliver your gift.  2 Corinthians 9:6-11 

• God loves to give and he loves people who share his passion. "God loves people who love to give." - Wow, it doesn't say "God loves people who give" but "God loves people who love to give". God is generous and he has a special affinity for people who love to give, because they are like him. I'm a bit of a google geek and when I run into another geek we whip out our phones, talk about this app and that app. "Did you hear that google is going to ...?" There is a natural affinity and friendship that occurs instantly. God feels that way about people who love to give. God loves to give and he loves people who share his passion.

 

• God supplies the generous person with everything they need to keep on being generous. "God can bless you with everything you need, and you will always have more than enough to do all kinds of good things for others." God can and does bless the generous person, so that he/she can continue to help others and give to those in need. In the Bible the word "bless" is a BIG word. There is great generosity inside the word "bless". Bless is - I ask for a hamburger from McDonald's and God takes me to a 5 star Michelin restaurant. God values generosity so when He sees a generous person he amply provides that person with what he needs to continue being generous. God is generous and he resources those people who share his generous nature. Does this mean that I can force God to give more to me, by giving more to others in need? Let me answer that question with a question "Is that the kind of question a generous person would ask?" 

• God gives freely and always does right. “God freely gives his gifts to the poor, and always does right.” God gives seed to farmers and provides everyone with food."  God's gifts don't do harm. Sometimes our well meaning gifts do more harm than good, creating dependency or unintended consequences. God gives freely - no strings attached. God doesn't give out of a feeling of compulsion or guilt. No one guilts God into giving something that will ultimately bring harm. He doesn't cave into family or peer pressure. He gives freely, for the right reason and in the right way.  

Lord, I want to be generous like you. I know I will make lots of mistakes in my giving, but let me err on the side of generosity, not stinginess. Help me to say "no" to unworthy causes, and "yes" to the many truly needy people. Help me become a person who "loves to give" just like you.  Amen.

Generosity is Noble

Out of curiosity I looked up the Wikipedia entry on generosity and found this: "The modern English word "generosity" derives from the Latin word generōsus, which means "of noble birth". In other words, some people used to think that only people of noble birth would be generous. Or perhaps it was expected of nobility to be generous to the poor. Generosity is a noble trait, but it is probably as common, if not more common among ordinary people as among the "nobility". The people from Macedonia were generous and noble. 

"My friends, we want you to know that the churches in Macedonia  have shown others God's gift of undeserved grace.  Although they were going through hard times and were very poor, they were glad to give generously.  They gave as much as they could afford and even more, simply because they wanted to.  They even asked and begged us to let them have the joy of giving their money for God's people.  And they did more than we had hoped. They gave themselves first to the Lord and then to us, just as God wanted them to do." 2 Cor 8:1-5

Here are some lessons about generosity from the Macedonians (in no particular order):

• generosity doesn't depend on your financial circumstances. These people were going through hard times and were very poor, yet they gave generously. This truth implies a 2nd:
• you don't have to wait til you are financially stable before giving. You can begin giving when you don't have much at all. 
• generosity is usually limited by what a person can afford. The Macedonians gave as much as they could afford, though some of them gave more than they could afford, i.e., they sacrificed something to give. 
• In NO CASE do we ever hear of someone borrowing money to give. Giving was based on their income and they did what they could and a bit above that, but no more than that. 
• Generous giving comes from the heart: "simply because they wanted to". These people wanted to give and it seems that initially they were refused, so they "even asked and begged" to give. Which leads to another principle:
• Generosity, giving is a privilege not a duty. Imagine someone grabbing Paul's arm firmly and pleading "Please Paul, you have let me contribute!" When was the last time you begged someone for the privilege of giving? It reminds me of Chinese fighting to pay a restaurant bill.

• Generous giving for the right reason brings joy and happiness: "they begged us to let them have the joy of giving", "they were glad to give generously". Does writing a check to WorldVision, Samaritan's Purse, or your favorite charity make you happy? Have you ever secretly done something special for another person and then sat back and watched with delight as they enjoyed your generosity?
• Giving done right shows off God's amazing grace: "the churches in Macedonia  have shown others God's gift of undeserved grace". I haven't often thought about the testimonial value of giving. Giving done right points a spotlight on God's amazing, undeserved, generous grace. Giving generously, sacrificially is a reflection of the giving of the Father and the giving of Jesus to us. So what is giving done right?
• The first step in becoming a generous giver is to give yourself to God. "They gave themselves first to the Lord and then to us". Giving oneself to God as a living sacrifice is the first step. Once God owns you and your possessions, than giving is simply a matter of obeying the promptings and directions of the Holy Spirit. 

Those are some preliminary thoughts on generous giving. Hope it is helpful.